In less than two weeks I will be 30. That sentence in itself seems wild. I feel like I’ve celebrated being 22 for the past 8 years and 30 seems so far away. Except it’s not anymore. It’s quite close. So I thought I’d pop a few thoughts down on how I feel about the number. I mean I know it’s just that, a number but it’s the ‘things’ I thought I’d have by the time I reached that number.
I don’t have the high flying city slick career that I thought I would have if you would have asked me 10 years ago. I don’t have the 3 children that I planned (by the age of 26 actually) and we’re not in the home that I would consider our forever home.
I’m not sad about any of that, just amused by how younger Loren thought her life would pan out and what it would look like as I was turning 30.
Sometimes when it comes out of the blue the thought of turning 30 catches in my throat a little. When it does a small wave of panic hits me and my face contorts into sheer surprise, like I didn’t know what number came after 29. I can only guess that this is society’s view on the age (from years ago I don’t doubt) and me listening to what society has led me to believe. It is not actually how I feel because it quickly shifts and I’m fine with it.
I also made a list of all the things I wanted to do in the year 2020, places to go and things to do, however the year 2020 happened and we were all caught short. As far as I know though nothing is stopping me from doing those things in October, even October 2021 maybe! Fingers crossed I’ll still be ticking off great life experiences in 2060. I’ve figured there isn’t really a timeline to have certain things done by, certain situations that may include biology and science yes, but nothing that should keep us worrying and wanting to “keep up with the Jones’”
I know heaps of people that are turning 30 in the next year or so and are at a completely different stage in their life. They may have a home, they may live with their parents. They may be well on with their career and climbing up the ladder where others may be switching careers and starting from scratch. Some may have travelled and some may be waiting until they retire for that. Some may have 4 kids and some may decide they prefer dogs. It’s each to their own and no timeline runs exactly the same and the more people I know the more this comes to light. Even the people you see that ‘have it all’ in your eyes can surprise you with a new or different view on their own circumstance. They might actually want something that you have or to change a matter in their life that you would deem great already. It’s about that perspective.
This goes to show that nothing is ever really ‘normal’ and the only pressure around is pressure you put on yourself.
One thing I catch myself doing is when I let myself be overwhelmed at a younger persons success. ‘So and so is only 25 and has this, this and this’. Yes they do but they might not have ‘this and this’ and even if they have, so what? There are billions of people on the planet and that is one person. They may have taken a different route to you because, you guessed it, everyone is on their own path.
I’ve definitely learnt 30 shouldn’t be taken as a milestone to have achieved certain things by a certain time. It should just be like turning 29 or 31. Come to think of it 2020 made me miss a year so I might re-do being 29, anyone else?